Top Ten: tips for decoding property language

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Buying or selling a property can always be a little tricky, particularly if you are being bamboozled with traditional estate agent rhetoric, jargon if you will, that only serves to muddy the waters for all concerned. Terms and phrases that are harnessed to try and facilitate a quick deal, but which often require decoding. SellMyHome take a light-hearted look at what some of these archaic sayings actually mean, with our Top Ten tips for understanding property language.

Character: this is a cunning way of telling you your house is old and probably needs replacing, or is so out-of-date you will wonder if you have travelled back in time.

Four bedrooms: three reasonably sized bedrooms with a fourth room you couldn't swing a cat in.

Priced to sell: they want to get rid of it and off their portfolio, which means almost any offer will do.

Popular area: an area heaving with people at antisocial hours characterised by regular visits from the Old Bill.

Decorated in a modern style: as cheaply made-up as a stereotypical footballer's wife, your home is crying out for a touch of class.

On road parking: There’s no garage, no drive, nowhere to put your bike and the chances are the road requires a permit.

Original features: the plumbing, electrics and asbestos have not changed in many, many years.

Colourful history: something very, very scary and violent happened here. Check for bloodstains.

Unusual feature: there is something so weird you will want to rip it out as soon as you move in; like a loo in the middle of the living room.

New price: it hasn’t sold in a long time, was horribly overpriced to begin with and needs a lot of money ploughed into it.

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